Journals
by TheWorldInWords
Summary: These are just all thoughts I've written out. They're not Dantana or fanbase related at all I just kind of wanted to post them somewhere. Hopefully people can relate to any part of them.
1. Only Move Hearts With Love

**These are all going to be really random and might end up contradicting each other but I just hope anyone can relate to at least some of these. If not, they helped me and my recovery by writing them and that's always good:) Thank you for all the reviews on everything you don't understand how much even the shortest comments and follows mean to me.**

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No amount of money in the world can heal the pain of someone dying. No number in a bank account can fill the hole left by someone you once loved. No lottery ticket can pay for true happiness and compassion. No matter how much money you have, you will never be able to use it to buy the things that matter most in life. Love. Happiness. Hope. Compassion. Loyalty. Friendship. Not one is for sale whether you look at the garage sale down the street or an upscale New York City skyscraper or LA mall. It will never be there. It will never be up for auction. Don't strive to be successful for the paycheck. Try to be the best person you can be instead of the best person for the job. Be kind to others. Be true to who you are. Be loving and treat others as you would yourself. Being a good person is much more rewardable and honorable than being a rich person. You can move mountains with money, but you can only move hearts with love.


	2. Uncertainty

The sad part of life is that it can be tricky and hard to understand. People come and go and never tell you why. You ask a question only to never be given a direct answer. You choose a career path only knowing the step right in front of you, leaving the rest entirely unknown. In someone's life, you're just the person they walked past at the grocery store. They didn't give you a second thought. In someone's life you are the world, their everything. They can't imagine their life without you in it. In someone's life you were a temporary lesson. You're just someone they used to know. You were in their life briefly and for a reason. And then there's those people, those people who are in your life and it feels like they'll be there forever. You click with them from the beginning. Being with them feels safe and comforts the darkest parts of you. They take your secrets and insecurities and lock them away in their heart. They have the ability to finish your sentences and know you better than the lyrics to their favorite song. They feel like home. But what if they're not meant to be there forever? What if that person, who you have enough love for to last a lifetime and a half, leaves? Maybe they're not a forever thing. Maybe they'll be back. Life never gives you a definitive answer. There's always that ounce of hope left in the back of our minds that they'll be back.


	3. Be You

**P.S I never realized why writers ask for reviews and comments all the time but honestly they're so helpful and make me feel like I'm not taking the risk of posting stuff for no reason so thank you for all the ones I've gotten and leave more if you want!**

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Don't let what anyone thinks phase you. If you want to do something that no one else will do, go for it. Don't worry about losing friends or being judged. The only support you need is from real friends and those people won't leave because you're being yourself or trying something new. As for the others, who cares? They can talk all they want but at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is the one you have for yourself. So make it count. You're fucking awesome. Don't give that up because you don't want people thinking you're "weird". No matter what anyone tells you, partying doesn't make you any more fun. If you're the kid who never goes to parties or never gets invited, have your own party. Hang out with friends. Do something you love and it won't be a loss. Partying isn't the only high school fun you can have. You can have the greatest nights of your life just laughing until you can't breathe with your friends. No one made the rule that you had to stick to the stereotype. Be the person who breaks it. Nike elite socks don't make you legit. The latest style from forever 21 doesn't make you gorgeous. Playing sports doesn't mean you're cool. Makeup doesn't make you popular. You are what matters so have your own style, be your own person, do what you want and you'll be perfect. Start a new trend. Take one moment to be brave. It'll pay off, I promise you.

Confidence is the key to happiness and vice versa. Don't let anyone take your happiness away. That is your happiness and it is never theirs to take. People can be hateful and hurtful sometimes. Don't let that get to you. Keep your chin up and walk by them like you're the next big thing. Show them it didn't even touch you. Letting it hurt you won't make them stop. Showing them you could care less what they think because you know you're weird but that's okay with you, that's what throws them for a loop. Shock them instead of being shocked.

This goes out to all the "popular" people, all the theatre stars, the background parts, the art junkies, the athletes, the club presidents, the class clowns, the kids who read books all day for fun because they love getting lost in the adventure of it. This goes out to you. Be yourself. We all know that the originals end up being worth much more than the copies. Don't let yourself down. Be real and kick ass.


	4. Letting Go

One of the worst feelings in the world is when a person you love with your whole heart and every piece of your soul, lets go. Whether they let go of your body as they release you from a tight hug, whether they let go of your hand as you go home and they aren't coming with you, or whether they let go of you, they let go. And the only thing that will ease the pain, the only thing to come close to stopping the bleeding from picking up the pieces of you that they shattered, the only thing is using the hand they let go of, the person you are that they let go, and doing something important. Change the world. Be innovative. Study. Learn. Create. Heal someone of their pain and the joy in their eyes will heal yours. The person who let go, never said they wouldn't come back. They never said that was the last time they'd hold on. Because never is far too long a time to promise somebody. So if you truly love them with every piece of you, chances are they love you with every piece of them, too. They'll be back. No distance can separate true love, true friendship, true soulmates. They will hold that hand of yours again and they will hold it tighter than before. Because sometimes, just sometimes, we need to learn what it's like to be apart. We need to feel the pain that comes from missing a piece of us. It's too often that the pain they cause, tears is down, but also builds us back stronger. Sometimes we need to grow apart in order to come back together, better than ever. So be hurt. Feel the pain. Mourn the loss. Because you'll grow. You'll become stronger and happier than you ever thought possible. And when the stars align once more, they'll be back. You'll be together. And it will be like you never took a step in life without them by your side.


	5. Depression

Depression is just anger turned inward. A war against yourself. Whether an outside force or event caused this anger, or not, you've chosen to take it out on one person, yourself. There's nothing that can be done to cure this self-hatred or rage. Only you can save yourself from the pain you're causing. No one can separate you from the trauma of your own mind. You have to choose to love yourself. You have to want to be happy. You. You and only you. You have to be the one to climb the wall in order to escape the darkness. When you choose happiness, you'll find true friends to light the way out. 


	6. Addiction

Everyone has a hole, a rupture, in better words, a wound, in their soul. We all have one. We do anything we can to fill that hole. Some things are more destructive than others. We're all addicted to something. We use our addictions to try and heal that hole, that feeling of emptiness. Addictions can vary. Some are more feverish than others. There's alcoholism and meth addicts, then there's workaholics and chocolate addicts. Everyone has something. Little do we know, that wound we're trying to fill, that hole, is only getting bigger. 


	7. Addiction part 2

People are like rubber bands. People get stretched with daily struggles and life's pressures. However, those with addictions get stretched farther than most people ever will be. They go through so much emotionally and spiritually. They become the smartest of us all. They get stretched until they get dangerousily close to breaking. And when they let go of the addiction holding them back, they fly. They fly higher than any one person could imagine.


	8. The Truth About Love

Girls are taught when we are very young and impressionable children, a strange form of affection. We come home complaining about the boy at school who teases us, and the first reason given is that he likes us. That the reason he is teasing us is because he likes us. So we go back to school the next day or the next week, and smile knowingly at every insult. Then we come home later and complain about the boy at school who punched our arms and pulls our hair. And the first reason given is, again, that he likes us. This is then reinforced with the fact that "he can't show his true emotion" and "hasn't learned to be gentle yet." So we go back to school the next day and we take the punches and the slight pain because "he doesn't know any better."

Then we all grow up and some of us are in high school, some in college, some out in the world to fend for ourselves. And we sit back wondering why other women deal with abusive husbands and boyfriends. We wonder why they don't leave the second they are hit or degraded. We wonder why on earth they would endure daily suffering when it's supposedly so easy to get away. We wonder, why? When in all reality, we should wonder, why not? We were taught that being insulted and teased meant he cared. We were taught that he showed affection and love through a variety of punches and kicks and hair pulls. We were taught that love hurts. Love isn't supposed to hurt. Insults aren't love. Bruises and cuts aren't the result of a caring relationship. We are taught to endure the worst in order to fully appreciate love, when that is the opposite of how life works. Love is the one thing in this world that is meant to heal. It is meant to cause no harm. Love is pure and love is happiness. It's the lack of love that hurts down to the core. But how can anyone truly believe that, if from the beginning we were told it would only cause us pain?


	9. Too Late

You never realize how powerful addiction is until you see a woman struck with fear when she looks at the price of the groceries she's buying, but doesn't hesitate telling the cashier which cigarette brand she wants.

You never realize how powerful addiction is until you watch a man stumble through the isles looking for vodka instead of buying himself clothes that aren't torn and frayed.

You never realize how powerful addiction is until you see a girl shaking with fear from the thoughts running through her own mind, grasping onto the sharpest thing she could find.

You never realize how powerful addiction is until you notice the fear in a boys eyes as he sits through another painful health class about steroid use while covering the needle marks with his hands.

You never realize how powerful addiction is until you watch a girl deny food being offered to her out of pure generosity and love because someone knocked her confidence so low that she can't even take a few bites.

You never realize how powerful addiction is until you see it in real life.

You never understand it until you see the fear and helplessness in a person's eyes. The cry for help, the cringe in pain, the last whisper of hope leaving their lips.

_You never realize how powerful addiction is until, too often, **it's too late.**_


	10. A Text Never Sent

I don't want anything to be left unsaid between us. I want you to listen to me and then do whatever you think is best. If that means not replying to this ever, so be it.

I don't know why you stopped talking to me. I know I stopped texting you first every time because you would give short answers and to me it felt like you didn't want to talk to me. I felt annoying. Maybe I should've handled that differently but I didn't. We haven't talked in about a month and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about you. But I figured that if I wasn't annoying you when we talked that you'd initiate the conversation. You didn't. So I have no idea where we stand. Everything I said in your letter is still and forever will be true. If it's not possible for us to be friends anymore then tell me. Otherwise think about this and tell me where you want us to go from here because I need some sort of answer from you.


	11. Trust

The hardest part of being human is the relationships formed with other people. We are made to not want to be alone. We long for companions and to be understood. Although, initially, it may be hard to love someone, it's possible. Growing to feel like you can't live without a certain person in your life is possible. They may love you back. They may break you. They may lose your trust in their actions. They may shatter your trust almost indefinitely. They may make you the happiest you've ever felt. You can never feel what the other person feels towards you. You have to come to trust the words they say. You know you love them, but do they love you? The most you can do is ask and believe in your heart that their answer is as true as yours would be. The hardest part of relationships is that you can't know how anyone feels about you. But they also can't know how you feel about them either.

Convey how you feel. Tell the truth. Speak with words that hold meaning. Do things that show love. Express your emotions. Create memories that will last a lifetime.

Do all this, and one day you'll meet the person who does all the same with you. They won't break you, but heal you from all the people who did. Don't lose trust in people because of the past. Trust everyone. One day it will be worth the heartache. One day, someone will come along and trust you right back.


	12. The Unseen Abuse

It's so much easier to show someone a bruise than it is to show them a broken confidence. A hairline fracture, the red outline of a handprint that lies across a cheek, a bruise so dark you could almost see the depths of the ocean inside of it. The physical things are easy to see. There's no questioning if they exist or not because they're right there in front of your face. But the words, the emotions that have resulted from insults and threats, those are much harder to convince people of.

They'll tell you you're faking it, they'll say, you're exaggerating. _"Oh you're just a kid, what do you know?"_ Truth is, you know what a broken heart feels like at any age. You know that being told you're worthless is the equivalent to have a piece of your heart ripped from your chest. You know that being called stupid daily is nothing more than an attempt to make you question every math answer you'll ever find. At any age, you know the difference between words that try to improve you, and words that only bring you down.

So what's the difference? What's the difference between being slapped for finishing homework late and being called stupid because you couldn't do it quicker? A red mark can be seen. A bruise cannot be questioned. A black eye serves as nothing else but the concrete truth of what's happening. While low self-esteem is only not having enough belief in yourself. Depression is just a phase. The, _"your dad didn't mean it he was just stressed out from work,"_ and the _"your mom was just tired don't be so sensitive,"_ are what you'll get if you tell someone that words are the source of your pain.

Emotional pain is just as strong and powerful as physical pain. Neither outweighs the other. So why do sticks and stones break our bones but words can never hurt us? Because broken bones aren't deniable while the pain felt by words can be written off in a heartbeat. It's not society's fault, it's humans inability to believe in the unseeable.


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